Seeking

I need a humble spirit

A renewed mind

Because the savior I've been living for

I transformed in my mind

Jesus who are you

In light of who I am

Why do I keep looking for your face right where I am ?

I am reaping destruction

Because I’ve sown lies

That I knew who you were

I want to get it right this time

I have been thinking a lot about who Jesus is lately. By lately I mean for maybe two years or so. It is not that I am doubting or am unsure about if I want to follow Him. Its just for as long as I can rememberer I have had this certain image of Jesus/God and limited Him to what I had known He had done in the past to what He could do now. A lot of times when I think of the events that happened and are recorded in the Bible, I envision them as cartoon characters. I am almost positive this has to do with all of those videos I watched in Sunday school and junior church illustrating Bible stories. I guess for the most part I want it all to sink into my heart, to become real and not just a cartoon story and for us all to be able to search the Word to know Jesus more.

There is a song my friend Sarah Brawley wrote, and it challenges me to look in my heart and examine myself to see if I am basing Jesus off of other people or off of who He really is. Sometimes it can all blur together and we miss His true face.

"Jesus you are not my mother, Jesus you are not my earthly father, Jesus you are so much bigger than we let you be. Jesus you are not my preacher, Jesus you are not a picture hanging from a balcony... So let these idols fall so we might see your true face, we're calling on your name

Jesus you are not my lover, Jesus you are so much stronger than any vowel. Jesus you are not my son, you are not my daughter... So let these idols fall so we might see your true face, we're calling out your name"