Expect the Unexpected..

Expectations,

    We all have them, and they usually come crashing to the ground at some point. I know I may sound harsh, but it’s that bittersweet reality check that is speaking the loudest. I have seen this play out in school, relationships and marriage however; the most eye opening experience thus far would by far be owning a home. Brad and I have been dreaming of owning a home together, so when the opportunity to own on right in the neighborhood we live in and love came up, it was one we did not want to miss. My Aunt’s best friend growing up father passed away almost 2 years ago. They were looking into selling the house and she had mentioned something to my Aunt. She then told Grandma, who told Brad and I. The house wasn’t even out of the Market so and Brad and I had first dibs. We had looked at houses in the neighborhood before and I was always thrown off by the older generations need to panel everything. Something must have been different this time as we walked through the house. Every outside wall had paneling blue, green, pink, cow boy (yes I am serious) and even the kitchen wallpaper was paneled. My eyes seemed to skim right over those flaws and I saw a home that was much bigger than our tiny apartment and saw so many possibilities. I could hear the cries and laughter of our children, picture the youth group hanging out in the yard, and see a dog or two laying around.

   Although every room seemed to be pink, it was so nice to see so many rooms. Three bedrooms upstairs, one bedroom downstairs, so many different spaces that would be used for our future children, or whoever God decided to put in our path in need of a place to stay.  Brad and I both were overwhelmed by the joy of having a home to use for the Glory of God! Trying to find a bank that would give us a loan and a ton of paper work later, we received the key. Overjoyed, I burst into the house (not even waiting for Brad :-X) And dove onto the worn living room floor, starring up at the ceiling I let out a sigh and exclaimed “This is our house!”

There was so much excitement that day, and then we started working…Brad and I both had off for 5 days straight from our jobs to go to North Carolina, we instead decided we would stay in town and work on our house. In MY mind, those 5 days would get done the whole house (I now understand how ridiculous my reasoning was). We were to start on the house in the end of March and move in the end of April. Mind you, It is May 15^th and there is yet to be one FULL completed room. Reality check? I know so many couples who have been working on their house for YEARS! I have no idea why I thought we would be any different. I am however very blessed to come from a family of carpenters. My dad and my brothers are so skilled and have done so much work in the house for us (I must add that my husband also is skilled, it just has been difficult for him to work full time and go to school and then work on a house). My grandfather is really sick right now, and so that has made me feel that every time I have made my dad work on the house I am stressing him out. But he is such an amazing super daddy. He continues to come and help. Even without me asking. It truly has been a tough season all around.

The moment I knew this whole thing was taking a toll on Brad and I was my melt down in Lowes. Mind you, I am the girl who will save her emotions for later, shoving them down and then eventually exploding, my closest friends have rarely ever seen me cry(I never said it was healthy). So this public melt down in Lowes was not a norm for me. We stood there in the paint aisle looking at thousands of different colors trying to pick one for our bedroom. An hour later, after flipping through every paint book in the store we still had gotten no where. I thought I knew what color I wanted but when faced with so many options my indecisive brain couldn’t handle it. Full of frustration I began to bang my head on one of the paint chip holders. A Lowes worker came over, looking a little concerned and asked if she could help. When she started suggesting options that would end up looking like Christmas my eyes began started to form tears and I could feel my chest tighten. I looked at my husband, who at this point probably would of settled on anything, and grabbed the paint chip we originally came with. When I handed it to the lady she began to give us more options. I walked away leaving my husband behind. I began to cry, hard. Not just a little boo hoo silent tears, the hyperventilating type. I then locked myself in a bathroom stall. Oh the joys of making decisions. As I stood there in the bathroom I wondered if that was something the Lowes workers saw a lot; exhausted couples coming in with a happy face and leaving in tears.

Through this all I have learned a lot of things I thought I never would know. Like, How to knock out a wall before work that my husband and I want out and no one else agrees with. How to plaster a hole in the wall. How to spackle. How to be the go getter of the tools that are needed. Most of all, I have learned how to ask for help.  

There are many times in life where I envy what another couple has. But even through this experience that I though would “make us happy” I realize all the stress it has brought into our relationship as well. Brad and I are overbooked, overworked, overstressed and just plain exhausted. Many arguments this little house has brought on. I know it will be worth it in the long run however, I also know something else now. When I place my worth and happiness on worldly things, man am I in trouble! The house is in progress, and my husband and I are still married so that’s good! Patience I am praying that is a fruit I will walk away with. If that’s the only thing I learn I will be in good shape!